Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
