I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's always time for handjobs
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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