My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
