I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
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I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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