what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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