big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
