i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sorry about my life...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize