I think scott just propositioned me for sex
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
