i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
