Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
