Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
