Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
