I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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