Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
