no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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