Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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