We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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