I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
