i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize