ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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