hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
