Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
