its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
