i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
