apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
