the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
