it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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