come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A+ Viking dick
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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