I smell stomach acid.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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