Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
