I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
