Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
