We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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