I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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