I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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