After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
