Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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