that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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