Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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