Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
how drunk are you?
Several
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize