dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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