Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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