I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
