It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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