How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
