I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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