dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He? As in you personified your dick?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
