Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
