Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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