Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
