i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
