Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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