You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
