It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
