are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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