wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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