Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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