Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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