and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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