I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize