i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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