A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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