No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
