I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
