meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
