HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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