He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
