Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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