Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
