he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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