i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
