Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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