a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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