Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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